Hello lovely daughter. I wish we had the words to be able to say how much we admire your ability to say exactly how you are feeling. Never forget how much you are loved and so proud we are of our darling girl. We are always here for love and support whenever you need us. Love and biggest hugs now and always. Mama and papa xxx
Oh Mel. I wish I had your words. I have nothing: I’d like to say how strong you are, how brave. But is one brave and strong if you don’t feel it? If you have no other option. You are extraordinary and brilliant. And all I can do is offer love and support and my weak shoulders and pathetic words…and my sunrises/sunsets are always yours. Always.
BOOM shaka shaka - thrilled you are back in your beautiful bones and RECONNECTED to your fabulous self - I love life when you find yourself guided to the perfect place and know you are exactly where you need to be! LOVE love love 🍀❤️🫶
beautifully written as always Mel. My lovely half brother and sister-in-law benefitted from their recuperation phase in Hamburg. Sending you biggest huggiest hugs of love x
Hello and thank you darling Mel for, as always, opening my heart, mind and brain simultaneously. After reading your incredible, visceral account, I can’t help wondering if in some ways chemotherapy is more akin to torture than any of us, or any medical professional, would like to even think about. Physically you are describing torture and how, then, the mind leaves the body so as to survive and protect itself, while the body is abandoned and left to fend for itself. But how can a body look after itself without a mind? If only everyone in our medical professions could read you and reflect. As you say, we need profound and prolonged healing spaces after chemotherapy. I hope we, your growing band of awed readers, can help to spread the word. With love and awe ❣️
Yes. Profound and prolonged healing. Thank you for seeing this.
A lifetime of recovering, of acceptance, adjustment. Not all cancer journeys are alike. For some, the medical interventions are both miraculous and life saving and also unimaginably brutal.
I often read your articles twice or three times, so rich with meaning and important to understand. I love that the temple found you and held you at that moment xxx
Hard to say this due to fear of sounding trite, but if cancer has been the instigator of your plume - i.e., your wonderful writing, descriptive, inspiring voice - then thank you horrific illness, (you can now exit stage left and leave the plume centre upstage).
the way you write about how it felt to be in that terror and fear, hope visceral it was and can be - is just so powerful Mel. I also, although i have not had cancer, really identify with the way you write about becoming somehow both institutionalised and detached after your time in hospital. How part of you remained there. i spent 3 months in hospital a few years ago while pregnant with my third child. I write alot in my memoir about this strange sense of wanting to return there after I was discharged, and also the brutal way the medical establishment leaves you on your own once you are 'fixed', when actually this is the time when the healing really begins, all the rest has been about survival. The Germans often do this so right, i lived there for 8 years, experienced that support after my first two births. Thank you for writing this piece, it is, truly, about both the beauty and the bones.
Thank you so much for reading and reaching out Layla. I think many of us experience the shock of the after with health care as you say - care and compassion and patience. Time. It is comforting to know that others feel this push pull of confinement/ release.
I can never really find the words to express what I want to say after reading your posts darling Mel. The rawness of your emotions can't fail to cut deep into the heart. I'm not sure I would have the immense strength that you have to share your story with the roller coaster of emotions as you fight your way back from the cruelness of cancer and it's treatment. How thankful we are you have the wonderful Sarah to love and care for you, as well as Fred, Elo and George of course!
So having started with not finding the words, it appears I have found some.
Sue Sue! What gives me the urge to share is two things.
1. To help us all understand each other more. Pain doesn’t stop when the cause of pain stops. I know you know some of this in your own life.
2. Cancer! It’s a bloomin’ fiend and it needs facing, slapping down and also opening up! Let’s talk about this stuff.
3. Oh I seem to have a third! 😉 it’s just my truth in that moment. And then it passes. And the landscape changes. But if it helps someone else who feels the darkness and is scared to show it then… good.
Sending my love, having a little tear for your incredible honest words, your darkest days, so beautifully laid out here, so moving and sometimes difficult to read , but must be harder for you to put down. And you are so right when you say more needs to be done for the after, the care beyond treatment, tenderness for moving forward, a gentle, comprehensive strategy for healing, no matter where you live. Thank you Mel, for your wonderful voice and your warm and beautiful presence.
Dear dear you, oh thank you for reading. I see now it was hard to write and is now hard to read for people. I am as you know mostly bright and positive! But certainly there are dark days and for sure yes tenderness and love and structured care and support is necessary for all people affected by cancer.
So, we keep on talking and next article will be SUNNY! Because I will be sunny. 🌞
Hello Mel, although I've not actually seen you for ages,your words take the reader deep into your heart and soul!
I also want to thank you for raising awareness for the lack of post-treatment support. I remember feeling utterly lost after my cancer story. However, because of this I made some brilliant friends, who just knew!
Thank you so much Karen. For reading; for reaching out. Yes post treatment support needs a serious investment. Maybe we should organise a massive festival!?!! 💜💜
My doors, fresh food, walks, and sunshine are always open for you, dear friend! Keep moving forward, you will find your essence and transform along the way. (Before I clicked 'post' a Bald Eagle soared past my window...I'll take it as a sign that the more you keep going, the more freedom from the past you will find. And this is what the internet says about Bald Eagle sightings: “Bald eagles serve as reminders that there is no one else alive who is quite like you. You have unique talents and gifts that only you can share, which is why you should embrace your uniqueness and dare to shine brightly. Your radiance is a light that nourishes the world around you.”) Shine on, Mel!
Darling you, I started reading this at 7 this morning and just about feel composed enough to comment (8.30).
As always, your voice is strong and clear through the darkest times, retelling the worst of your living nightmares with poignancy and clarity that is hard to witness. Awareness brings change and your writing will bring that and help other people living with cancer to feel seen and understood. How amazingly powerful and inspiring you are my darling warrior Queen.
Darling darling. Thank you. It’s a choice to be truthful. In the end, there is no other route. And if it helps anyone help a friend or offers a mirror then it is worth diving into the murk. I love you. 🩵🤍
Jan, I find I can’t do it any other way now. It’s my reality and the same for so many others. If we all talk openly, we can help each other. So much love to you. 💫💛
Hello lovely daughter. I wish we had the words to be able to say how much we admire your ability to say exactly how you are feeling. Never forget how much you are loved and so proud we are of our darling girl. We are always here for love and support whenever you need us. Love and biggest hugs now and always. Mama and papa xxx
Oh my lovely mama and papa! You are THE BEST at showing love. 🩵🩵
Oh Mel. I wish I had your words. I have nothing: I’d like to say how strong you are, how brave. But is one brave and strong if you don’t feel it? If you have no other option. You are extraordinary and brilliant. And all I can do is offer love and support and my weak shoulders and pathetic words…and my sunrises/sunsets are always yours. Always.
Thank you my darling. People carry on needing people after the storm has passed. And whilst waiting for the next one… you are always a lighthouse. 💛
Beautifully written as always. Care after treatment needs to be so much better- you are so right. Thank you for sharing so openly. Big hugs 🤗 🥰 xxx
Thank you my love. I know you know. It’s vital. It’s urgent. It’s important. 💫💛🩵
BOOM shaka shaka - thrilled you are back in your beautiful bones and RECONNECTED to your fabulous self - I love life when you find yourself guided to the perfect place and know you are exactly where you need to be! LOVE love love 🍀❤️🫶
beautifully written as always Mel. My lovely half brother and sister-in-law benefitted from their recuperation phase in Hamburg. Sending you biggest huggiest hugs of love x
Ah thank you dear you. It’s remarkable how post treatment options vary across Europe.
Sending love and hugs. 🩵💚🩵💚🩵
Hello and thank you darling Mel for, as always, opening my heart, mind and brain simultaneously. After reading your incredible, visceral account, I can’t help wondering if in some ways chemotherapy is more akin to torture than any of us, or any medical professional, would like to even think about. Physically you are describing torture and how, then, the mind leaves the body so as to survive and protect itself, while the body is abandoned and left to fend for itself. But how can a body look after itself without a mind? If only everyone in our medical professions could read you and reflect. As you say, we need profound and prolonged healing spaces after chemotherapy. I hope we, your growing band of awed readers, can help to spread the word. With love and awe ❣️
My darling friend,
Yes. Profound and prolonged healing. Thank you for seeing this.
A lifetime of recovering, of acceptance, adjustment. Not all cancer journeys are alike. For some, the medical interventions are both miraculous and life saving and also unimaginably brutal.
Gently as we go.
So much gratitude for your insights always
🩵🤍🩷💜🧡❤️💛🤎💚
I often read your articles twice or three times, so rich with meaning and important to understand. I love that the temple found you and held you at that moment xxx
Thank you darling Milly. I turned right and there it was. It moved me so much. It restored my trust in bricks in some way! 🤎🤎
Hard to say this due to fear of sounding trite, but if cancer has been the instigator of your plume - i.e., your wonderful writing, descriptive, inspiring voice - then thank you horrific illness, (you can now exit stage left and leave the plume centre upstage).
Oh hello one of my cameo characters! Oh she of the mouldy cake! Cancer has certainly taken the lid off my fountain pen! 🤎🤎
the way you write about how it felt to be in that terror and fear, hope visceral it was and can be - is just so powerful Mel. I also, although i have not had cancer, really identify with the way you write about becoming somehow both institutionalised and detached after your time in hospital. How part of you remained there. i spent 3 months in hospital a few years ago while pregnant with my third child. I write alot in my memoir about this strange sense of wanting to return there after I was discharged, and also the brutal way the medical establishment leaves you on your own once you are 'fixed', when actually this is the time when the healing really begins, all the rest has been about survival. The Germans often do this so right, i lived there for 8 years, experienced that support after my first two births. Thank you for writing this piece, it is, truly, about both the beauty and the bones.
Thank you so much for reading and reaching out Layla. I think many of us experience the shock of the after with health care as you say - care and compassion and patience. Time. It is comforting to know that others feel this push pull of confinement/ release.
Sending beauty to your bones. 🤍🩵
I can never really find the words to express what I want to say after reading your posts darling Mel. The rawness of your emotions can't fail to cut deep into the heart. I'm not sure I would have the immense strength that you have to share your story with the roller coaster of emotions as you fight your way back from the cruelness of cancer and it's treatment. How thankful we are you have the wonderful Sarah to love and care for you, as well as Fred, Elo and George of course!
So having started with not finding the words, it appears I have found some.
Much love and virtual hugs xxx
Sue Sue! What gives me the urge to share is two things.
1. To help us all understand each other more. Pain doesn’t stop when the cause of pain stops. I know you know some of this in your own life.
2. Cancer! It’s a bloomin’ fiend and it needs facing, slapping down and also opening up! Let’s talk about this stuff.
3. Oh I seem to have a third! 😉 it’s just my truth in that moment. And then it passes. And the landscape changes. But if it helps someone else who feels the darkness and is scared to show it then… good.
4. I love you! 🩵🩵🩵
Certainly words of wisdom. 😍
Thank you Damian and it leads me to the next vital healing experience of my life…
Coming soon to a Substack near you hoo!
Ohhh! Great! 😍 Definitely looking forward to reading it! 🙏
Dearest Mel,
Sending my love, having a little tear for your incredible honest words, your darkest days, so beautifully laid out here, so moving and sometimes difficult to read , but must be harder for you to put down. And you are so right when you say more needs to be done for the after, the care beyond treatment, tenderness for moving forward, a gentle, comprehensive strategy for healing, no matter where you live. Thank you Mel, for your wonderful voice and your warm and beautiful presence.
Much love
Georgie X ❤️X
Dear dear you, oh thank you for reading. I see now it was hard to write and is now hard to read for people. I am as you know mostly bright and positive! But certainly there are dark days and for sure yes tenderness and love and structured care and support is necessary for all people affected by cancer.
So, we keep on talking and next article will be SUNNY! Because I will be sunny. 🌞
Please keep on talking through the dark days and the light. X
Hello Mel, although I've not actually seen you for ages,your words take the reader deep into your heart and soul!
I also want to thank you for raising awareness for the lack of post-treatment support. I remember feeling utterly lost after my cancer story. However, because of this I made some brilliant friends, who just knew!
If ever you're up to it, I'd love to see you.
Sending all my love xxx
Thank you so much Karen. For reading; for reaching out. Yes post treatment support needs a serious investment. Maybe we should organise a massive festival!?!! 💜💜
My doors, fresh food, walks, and sunshine are always open for you, dear friend! Keep moving forward, you will find your essence and transform along the way. (Before I clicked 'post' a Bald Eagle soared past my window...I'll take it as a sign that the more you keep going, the more freedom from the past you will find. And this is what the internet says about Bald Eagle sightings: “Bald eagles serve as reminders that there is no one else alive who is quite like you. You have unique talents and gifts that only you can share, which is why you should embrace your uniqueness and dare to shine brightly. Your radiance is a light that nourishes the world around you.”) Shine on, Mel!
Thank you my beautiful friend! Yes I keep moving, walking and dancing! Needed to get the truth out and it was a tough one!
Shining at you in MA and receiving your brightness in return! 💫💛🌎
Let that truth out! The darkest days help us see the light, don't they? Dancing with you, just a puddle jump away!
SPLASH! 💦
Darling you, I started reading this at 7 this morning and just about feel composed enough to comment (8.30).
As always, your voice is strong and clear through the darkest times, retelling the worst of your living nightmares with poignancy and clarity that is hard to witness. Awareness brings change and your writing will bring that and help other people living with cancer to feel seen and understood. How amazingly powerful and inspiring you are my darling warrior Queen.
Love you xx
Darling darling. Thank you. It’s a choice to be truthful. In the end, there is no other route. And if it helps anyone help a friend or offers a mirror then it is worth diving into the murk. I love you. 🩵🤍
Mel another beautiful piece, so honest they must be tough to write but it means a lot thank you for representing people living through this everyday 🥰
Jan, I find I can’t do it any other way now. It’s my reality and the same for so many others. If we all talk openly, we can help each other. So much love to you. 💫💛