Wow. I have read and loved every piece on here mum, but this one without doubt is the best, for me. It articulates the complexities behind all this craziness so so well. It made me cry, but left me with a smile.
So proud of you! From one cyclist to another. Sending power and love.
You describe it all so vividly. Maybe I’m over-sensitive but I still get vibes of « surely you should be back to normal by now? » from my partner. It’s two years plus since the treatment finished. But I’m still on oestrogen blockers medium term. You want to be out there, visibly beating cancer, a story of hope - and there is always the lingering survivor guilt. I find I get really irritable sometimes with the anxieties my friends have; they seem so trivial. But often they signal a deeper, unspoken vulnerability, as we age together and things become less predictable. I try to be patient. They rallied round when I needed it most.
Dear Miranda, thank you so much for reading and writing. The steps to recovery are long and painful and slow aren’t they? We all carry our own struggle as humans. Sharing them helps us find the communal joy hopefully. Have you ever considered a retreat? Or some space to bring peace? I have been on one three times and it is so beneficial/restoring. 🤍🙏🏽💙🩵💚🌿
Every single word you write expands my mind a thousandfold. So thank you for letting us into your wonderful mind Mel.
I've found comfort from this quote on the harder than easier kind of days , "It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit" J.R.R. Tolkien
Your wonderful words of wisdom and truth, so honestly put, you look well because you always smile so truly, it brightens any day, but we know Humans are so complex and each one of us carries a story. Sending love ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you dear you! And it’s wonderful to look well and I don’t reject the words. It felt important to offer the reality for many of us. Not just cancery folk. To help us all help one another. And to lift the lid on stage 4 cancer. 💜🩵
I SO hear you, Mel. Thank you for revealing what patients and caregivers are "carrying today beneath their cloak of normal."
I've done so much 'back channelling' over the years about how my parents were REALLY feeling; it can be exhausting.
Of course, this is also a reason why caregivers are put in an impossible position where 'others' try to prove the person with the illness CAN do XYZ if we 'just did' what they suggest instead of holding our person back...(I'll try not to vent here!) In my case, my parents look well because they 'put on a front' or asserted all their energy for that day - sometimes they felt they wanted to, sometimes they felt they had to ...(that generation social contract stuff (sigh))
I love the Tour de 4 you're doing - I've donated and will cheer you on.
Here for the cheering and to help carry the hard things, behind the normal xoxo
Such a voice you have for affirming life and humanity and painting a picture of how things are - completely and with all it's fierce complexity. All the love to you xxx
Lovely Mel. Such a powerful piece of writing, helping us on the outside looking in to understand more. Sending you the biggest of hugs my lovely friend xxxx
Every word in this one hit me—especially every word in the last paragraph. Ride on, soul sista!
Thank you my sisterly friend! Maybe in the autumn we’ll come to MA and cycle near you! I’ll be an official Mel in Lycra by then surely? 🙏🏽😉
That would be AMAZING!
Wow. I have read and loved every piece on here mum, but this one without doubt is the best, for me. It articulates the complexities behind all this craziness so so well. It made me cry, but left me with a smile.
So proud of you! From one cyclist to another. Sending power and love.
I love you. You spur me on. 💚🚲
You describe it all so vividly. Maybe I’m over-sensitive but I still get vibes of « surely you should be back to normal by now? » from my partner. It’s two years plus since the treatment finished. But I’m still on oestrogen blockers medium term. You want to be out there, visibly beating cancer, a story of hope - and there is always the lingering survivor guilt. I find I get really irritable sometimes with the anxieties my friends have; they seem so trivial. But often they signal a deeper, unspoken vulnerability, as we age together and things become less predictable. I try to be patient. They rallied round when I needed it most.
Oh yes, I am a great believer in retreats! In fact I’m starting one in Cornwall tomorrow - I try to go there every year.
Amazing!!! Enjoy every single moment! 💚🤍
Dear Miranda, thank you so much for reading and writing. The steps to recovery are long and painful and slow aren’t they? We all carry our own struggle as humans. Sharing them helps us find the communal joy hopefully. Have you ever considered a retreat? Or some space to bring peace? I have been on one three times and it is so beneficial/restoring. 🤍🙏🏽💙🩵💚🌿
A wonderful piece to read Mel. Sending you so much love xxxx
Ah Amy, thank you so much. I am so glad you read it. 🩵🙏🏽
Every single word you write expands my mind a thousandfold. So thank you for letting us into your wonderful mind Mel.
I've found comfort from this quote on the harder than easier kind of days , "It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit" J.R.R. Tolkien
So much love to you and Sarah xx
Oh thank you dear Alex. The strength of the spirit never fails to amaze me. Thank you for the words. 🌿💚
Oh Mel. ♥️
Exquisitely, agonisingly honest. So you.
I need to hold you. 🩷❤️🧡💛🤍
My body coming to find yours very soon. For a long cuddle! 🤍🩵🌾🌿💚
Dear Mel,
Your wonderful words of wisdom and truth, so honestly put, you look well because you always smile so truly, it brightens any day, but we know Humans are so complex and each one of us carries a story. Sending love ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you dear you! And it’s wonderful to look well and I don’t reject the words. It felt important to offer the reality for many of us. Not just cancery folk. To help us all help one another. And to lift the lid on stage 4 cancer. 💜🩵
Another amazing piece Mel, yet again you have described everything happening to me in such a beautiful way, thank you xx
Dear Jan, thank you so much for reading. The cancer crew inform all I feel and write. I need you all in my life. 🤍❤️🙏🏽
You always have a way of beautifully describing things that I cannot find the words for. Thank you Mel 😊🙏🤍
Dear Niki, I have all of us in my heart when I write. I carry you with me. Sending LOVE. Also when are we going to dance?! 🪩 🩷🚀
Bless you 🙏💕. Dancing anytime! 🕺 5th July CinC? 🎉😁
Is that the London one?!
Yes! I've been waiting for another Bath one but they've not announced anything yet
I SO hear you, Mel. Thank you for revealing what patients and caregivers are "carrying today beneath their cloak of normal."
I've done so much 'back channelling' over the years about how my parents were REALLY feeling; it can be exhausting.
Of course, this is also a reason why caregivers are put in an impossible position where 'others' try to prove the person with the illness CAN do XYZ if we 'just did' what they suggest instead of holding our person back...(I'll try not to vent here!) In my case, my parents look well because they 'put on a front' or asserted all their energy for that day - sometimes they felt they wanted to, sometimes they felt they had to ...(that generation social contract stuff (sigh))
I love the Tour de 4 you're doing - I've donated and will cheer you on.
Here for the cheering and to help carry the hard things, behind the normal xoxo
Dear Victoria,
We will hear you cheer for sure.🚲🩵
And yes caregivers really see the full picture and share the load with the sickly one.
Thank you for always shining a light on the role of the co-pilots.
Sending love and would LOVE to meet you one of these days 💙🤍🩵🚲🙏🏽
Such a voice you have for affirming life and humanity and painting a picture of how things are - completely and with all it's fierce complexity. All the love to you xxx
My dear you. Complex indeed but equally love and connection and honestly help. Always. Thank you for reading. ❤️🩷
Thank you Mel, the beauty & honesty of your words are inspiring, provoking and universal 🌸💗
Why thank you dear Kate. Looking well and feeling well are two interconnected but different aspects of being human. 🤍🌿
You have cracked the truth code. Amazing reality read.
Thank you Gail. Word up. Got to be spoken. For us all. 🩵🩵
Lovely Mel. Such a powerful piece of writing, helping us on the outside looking in to understand more. Sending you the biggest of hugs my lovely friend xxxx
Hug received and squeezed back. You are outside but also inside with me. I feel you. Always have. 🩵🩵
Darling you, a heartbreaking read, with so much depth, honesty and humility.
I love you xxx
I love you too my darling friend. 😘😘😘
A beautifully written piece that is insightful and encapsulates exactly how we feel. Thank you 🙌
Dearest Natasha, thank goodness we have one another to share the madness. Sending you so so much love. ❤️❤️